There is a famous Jim Rohn saying that goes: “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Well, yes, probably. Maybe. Sort of. But, it’s misleading.
Certainly, the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of your friends (we’ll call the 5 people you spend the most time with friends) will affect you. If they are successful and driven people, you are probably going to have that in common with them and also be successful and driven. The opposite, of course, is also true. Whatever the profile of the individuals, what you really have are a set of behaviors. Indeed, we are little more than the sum of our behaviors.
Which begs the question, which comes first, the behaviors or the friends?
Let’s ignore for a moment that it seems nearly impossible to change your group of friends without changing what you DO on a daily basis. Changing your friends or peers might have some leverage over your habits and behaviors, but would it be enough to change a lazy sloth into a high-powered executive? I doubt it.
On the other hand, if you were to change the majority of your behaviors, do you think your friends group would change significantly? Absolutely.
So through the magic that is logic, we see that the greater lever that you can exert control over is that of your behaviors. Actually changing behavior is another topic, but first it helps to recognize what they actually are.
For now I just have questions for you:
- Outside of working hours what are the top 10 things you’ve spent your time on in the past 5 days?
- Are those things aligned with your wants and goals?
- If you have a goal lift, how many times have you trained it (or a variation) in the past 5 training sessions?
- How much TV have you watched in the past 5 days?
- How many books have you read in the past 30 days?
- How much time have you spent moving or exercising in the past 5 days?
- What have you eaten the most of in the past 5 days?
- If you’re an entrepreneur, or otherwise work for yourself, what have you spent most (top 3) of your “work” hours doing?
- If you took an inventory of the things you did in the past 5 days, and you were told you’d have roughly the exact same 5 days six months from now, would you look forward to it?
- Are the behaviors you do most often aligned with how you view yourself?
These are pretty broad questions, to get you started and get you thinking. Come up with your own, better, questions that are more narrow in focus and apply to you. The takeaway is this:
[Photo Cred: Aristotle quote on the wall at Cressey Performance]